Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
