Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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