at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
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