Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I didn't notice because vodka
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
