All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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