Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
