ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
