Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
