turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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