he wants to bone in the snuggie
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
