i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
last night I used snow as a chaser
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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