Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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