I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
