shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
