omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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