So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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