And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
