Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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