She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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