I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
