Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
