During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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