So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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