I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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