And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
