I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
