All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
