What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My vagina just recognized that song.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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