is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
