just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's shark week go big or go home
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
