Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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