happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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