Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
