New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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