We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
