i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
