soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
