It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
