Jerry, you need to find god
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
