I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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