brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just googled if crying burns calories
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
