Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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