eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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