And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
