I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
