im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I cut my penus on the lid.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
