peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
