On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
