"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
