Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
