I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm always down for nudity.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
